QUID HAS HEARD that the city of Aurora is nosing around these days in places it might wish it hadn’t. Seems the city tweeted out to its faithful this week, “What is your favorite summer smell, Aurora?” Fresh-cut lawns topped the list until one city follower reminded everyone that nerve gas was created to smell just like cut grass so victims would breathe deep. Cough, cough, cough. Quid was disappointed that city hoo-haws weren’t fast to chime in on what smells like Aurora when June rolls around, so here’s what said nabobs might have tweeted if one held a phone to their head:
• Mayor Steve Hogan loves the smell of dirt being turned over at the Gaylord Hotel site.
• Congressman Mike Coffman loves the smell of fear oozing from top VA officials as he collects House votes to spend VA bonuses on toilets and ceiling tiles at the Aurora VA hospital.
• Former Aurora Police Chief Dan Oates adores the smell of suntan lotion so pervasive at his new, nasty job in south Florida. There, keystone cops fight to make regular headlines using antics like passing around taser-puns and sexist, racist jokes. That rich, cocoa butter reminds Oates that, outside of Aurora, life’s a beach.
• Denver Mayor Michael Hancock relishes the smell of ripe bullcrap (Gaylord) at the fancy new Western Stock Show complex (Gaylord) being built with endless millions of state dollars that Aurora (Gaylord) should never, ever have a right to because it’s (Gaylord) Aurora.
• Everyone on Aurora City Council fancies the early summer smell of a blunt filled with premium diesel from one of the city’s popular pot shops. What smells like old oregano or wet skunk to some smells like a happy cash cow at city hall.
Cough, cough, cough.
• Business owners up and down the Havana corridor may breathe easier with the old Fan Fare folly demolished (not to mention being rid of all the asbestos and pigeon poo, too), but the city still paid handsomely to buy and raze the nasty bubble-ooza, and everyone on Havana was anxious to hear what fabulous development was coming to this prized piece of earth. What they hear is crickets. Plenty of land, but the possibilities so far have been real stinkers. The nose knows.
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS.
Although the old Fan Fair has been demolished, the site is definitely not a “prized piece of earth”. I’m betting the only use of that property will be a large development of subsidized housing via Section 8 or income restriction. This will bring down the value of nearby neighborhoods even more than the former eyesore Fan Fair buildings.
quidnunc has no place in Aurora. Go back the primordial ooze you secreted from and join the rest of your family. Nothing you printed here was worth the effort.
I love the smell of the Lowry Bombing Range in the morning, brings back memories of, well, say, the landfill.
Council loves the smell of the pot infused, low information, headline reading millennials, who will vote for them again this November.