QUIDNUNC: Congressman Polis gets some polish

QUID HAS HEARD that her Mile Highness was blessed with appearances last week from at least six different Republican presidential candidates, which means that there’s only about a baker’s dozen of ‘em left to make the trip out here to the Land of Bovines and Blunts to press the flesh and convert GOP caucus-goers.

The confab that drew them to Denver, the Western Conservative Summit, could have been a great chance for group therapy after a series of stinging rulings for conservatives from the Supreme Beings on the Supreme Court, including — cue the horns — the Legalization of Same-Sex Marriage Across The U.S. of A.

But Quid’s minions walking with the elephants found that it’s still a jungle out there when it comes to the White House hopefuls having a clue as to what it’ll take to win our oh-so-coveted nine electoral votes, much less getting beyond the sardine-packed primary.

The gun-and-grit-luvin’ Guv. Mike Huckabee urged us to put down our KFC Double Downs and to rebel against marriage equality like “Abraham Lincoln did about the Dred Scott decision of 1857.” Our jury is still out on whether the string-strumming Arkansan really meant it, or if the hunger pangs you and I know as “the munchies” were making him irritable.

Perhaps it was the knowledge that nobody with an actual snowball’s chance in late-June Denver weather of becoming the eventual nominee would register as a blip on the radar of their turkeys-in-the-straw poll. Super-surgeon Dr. Ben Carson retained his crown as the Conservative’s Choice after winning the poll in 2014, while tough-talkin’ Texan-turned-tech-empress Carly Fiorina settled for silver.

Presumptive nominee Jeb Bush manged to finish behind everyone’s favorite congressional granny, Nancy Pelosi — the Democrat. Quid’s got an ice pack in the freezer and a cold one in the fridge should the governor need to ease the pain of that burn.

AND QUID HAS HEARD that the best-dressed man in Boulder still isn’t Congressman Jared Polis, but the fashion police may have canceled their All Polis Bulletin after it looks like the Democrat upgraded his duds.

Quid’s not one to stand on ceremony, but the polo-and-bow-tie look wasn’t the best one to bring to the floor of the House. So let’s give credit where credit is due to the congressman for buttoning down and getting his depeche mode up to speed.

AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS.