AURORA | Cake, balloons and presents have been the cornerstones of every July 20 since Megan Sullivan can remember. That was the day her brother came into the world. It was also the day he left it, last year, when he was shot and killed in a movie theater.
On the one-year anniversary of the July 20 Century Aurora 16 theater shooting, and what would be her brother’s 28th birthday, Megan will remember the life her brother lived and the spirit that defined him: goodwill, congeniality and optimism.
“I don’t see a change in my mentality of that day,” she said. “It will forever be a celebration.”
Megan, 26, has channeled her grief into altruism since the day Alex Sullivan died along with 11 others on July 20.
The Aurora resident started a nonprofit organization called Aurora Rise last fall, dedicated to raising money for victims of the shooting. The fund helps them pay for the types of goods and services that make up daily life — house cleaning, food, laundry. She also started a support group for female victims of the shooting. Women, she says, grieve differently than men.
For Megan, the grief never ends.
The weight of what happened one year ago never eludes her. Losing her big brother also meant losing her best friend, her confidant, her teacher and the person who showered her with unwavering support, even when she slipped up.
“What was so unique was that me and my brother very much complemented each other,” she said.
Alex was a constant optimist; Megan sometimes found it hard to stay positive. Alex had a good memory and he was perceptive. He’d remember the name of a stranger’s dog, then six months later, call the dog by name. He was gregarious, fun-loving and amicable.
“He’d always introduce someone, whether it was someone he knew for a week or knew his entire life, as his friend,” Megan said.
But Alex, who was working at a Red Robin in Aurora before he died, struggled his entire life with one thing — reading. He had dyslexia. As a young boy, Alex learned to read by flipping through the illustration-heavy and text-light pages of comic books. That’s where his love for the Batman comic-book franchise began.
To celebrate his 27th birthday, Alex invited 12 of his friends to the premiere of The Dark Knight Rises. One of his coworkers brought her two children with her to the screening, one of them a 12-year-old boy. As they were waiting in line for the auditorium to open to moviegoers, Alex and the boy connected over the difficulty of reading. Comics were the cure, Alex said.
The boy attended Alex’s funeral just a few days after that, still scarred and shaken. With permission, he slipped a Green Lantern comic book into Alex’s coffin.
In comic book lore, the Green Lantern promotes justice throughout the universe and is known for using his supernatural might to overcome intense fear. The character was the boy’s hero, but he couldn’t find solace in much of anything during those dark days. His mother told Megan he couldn’t concentrate in school. He was having blackouts and struggling emotionally with what he saw in the theater that night.
Wanting to give him a little hope, Megan and her father asked a comic-book artist to draw a personalized Green Lantern character for him, as a symbol that “heroes would always be here to protect us.”
That was how the idea for a sketch-book came about. Last October, Megan asked dozens of local and out-of-state comic book artists if they’d be willing to donate drawings of superheroes to benefit the Aurora Rise victim assistance fund.
Thousands of dollars’ worth of drawings were sent to Megan. An intimidating, brawny Daredevil guards the theater in one. In another, an imposing Batman lands on the “Century” sign, appearing ready to fight and defend. Fourteen drawings were compiled into the Aurora Rise Sketch Book Vol. 1, which raised $4,000 for Aurora Rise at Denver’s Comic-Con event in early June.
The money donated to Aurora Rise is used to pay for the types of everyday necessities that fall by the wayside when survivors, victims and families are grieving.
“When you’re dealing with so many other things, the last thing on your mind is ‘I need to clean the house or do the laundry,’” Megan said. “But those are things that clear space for you to be able to deal.”
She also leads a support group for women impacted by the shooting, which meets weekly at the Aurora Strong Community Resilience Center.
The truths shared among that group of women are raw, honest and sometimes even indignant. Anything goes.
“Too many (women) feel their emotions need to be suppressed,” Megan said.
A lover of words that express emotions that are hard to describe, Megan starts every meeting with an inspirational quote. But no writer could put to words what her brother would always say to her so succinctly: “There will always be tomorrow.”
Megan will continue to find ways to help other people. It’s what keeps her going. She plans to participate in several community service projects offered by the city on her brother’s birthday, and the one-year anniversary of his death.
Many victims of traumatic events find comfort and a sense of control in being able to give back to their communities in some way, said Sherry Nellis, a licensed professional counselor who has spent more than three decades as a therapist. Nellis will be the full-time counselor at the Aurora Strong Community Resilience Center.
“For me and for lots of people, being able to help is everything,” Nellis said. “You can’t change what happened, you can’t fix it, but if you can help ease some pain, that’s what does it for me.”
For Megan, grief always lingers, but altruism, acceptance and positivity has made the pain sting less.
“Early on, it was like I could feel this presence of him, where he was telling me he was OK,” she said. “Once you open yourself up to that possibility, you can do anything.”
Recycling her pain into something that can help others is what Alex would have wanted her to do, she said.
“What I’m going through is a small bit of what an entire community is going through,” she said. “And I think those paths should intertwine.”
To donate to Aurora Rise, visit aurorarise.org. Megan Sullivan leads a support group for women who were affected by the theater shooting that meets at 6:30 p.m. Thursdays at the Aurora Strong Community Resilience Center, 1298 Peoria St.