QUID HAS HEARD that Colorado Secretary of State Wayne Williams is looking to move past what has been his Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad week. Seems trouble with the crowded Colorado GOP primary race to steal away Michael Bennet’s Senate seat has now officially become legendary. What started earlier this year as 13 people vying for the GOP standard was finally whittled down to a mere five candidates last week. Only El Paso County Commissioner Darryl Glenn got a place on the June GOP primary ballot the old-fashioned way. He politicked his way on board during a sweep at the state GOP assembly. The other four Senate wannabes — Robert Blaha, Jon Keyser, Jack Graham and  Ryan Frazier — all paid to play, some dearly, by trying to petition onto the ballot. Graham was in the green. Blaha was off the ballot, then on, then off, then on. Then he was off the hook, tweeting fire as he called for Williams to step down. Frazier has become an asterisk, he’s on again, pending a lawsuit. If he loses, he’s on but realistically off. What, you can’t keep up? Then there’s the party hearty’s favorite, Keyser. He was off then on, but annoying Channel 7 reporter Marshall Zelinger poked around and found at least 10 forged signatures and some stuff that Williams’ office missed and, well, it’s been a long couple of weeks and it’s not nearly over. Did yours truly mention the bad advice he gave state Sen. Jack Tate’s campaign on moving old campaign money? No? I’m sure Tate will. Sadly, Williams can’t get wine and real beer with groceries until after the election and must walk Colfax to nearby Argonaut Liquors for the good stuff. Quid can recommend Stranahan’s Colorado Whiskey to take the edge off.

AND QUID HAS HEARD that it’s your faithful hack’s favorite time of year again: conspiracy season is among us. Say what you will about social media being the bane of civilization, Twitter and Facebook have given new life to old trolls traipsing out conspiracies on everything that really doesn’t matter. Colorado’s twitterverse exploded this week with conspiracy theories about Democrats secretly pretending to be Republican petition circulators in a secret cabal focusing on ruining Jon Keyser’s chances at making to primary day. Part of the theory involves sitting Sen. Michael Bennet planting RINO petition circulators to cause the ensuing ballot mayhem for the #COSEN hopefuls. Quid admonishes paranoid right wingers for giving left wingers far too much credit to invent, let alone pull off such a clever scheme. And Quid suggests the Party of Paranoia either quit drinking from their tin-foil caps or switch strains to something with less head high.

AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS.