QUID HAS HEARD that no news is good news except when it comes to getting elected to Congress. So it’ll be no surprise that even 13 months before the wise voters of Congressional District 6 get to have their say on whether to retain the services of Veteran Of Two Gulf Wars Rep. Mike Coffman, there will be no lapse in campaigning from State Sen. and Legal Eagle Morgan Carroll, the Democratic Party’s latest, greatest hope for the swing district. Quid never faults anyone for trying until the horse’s corpse starts drawing too many flies to the barn — or when your clubbin’ hand callouses over. And by all observable measures, Carroll’s handlers have a lot of spaghetti sliding down to the carpet while pressing the story of Congressman Coffman’s contract with the National Republican Congressional Committee. Seems the man who never met a VA secretary he didn’t like to hate has inked a deal for the NRCC to boost his toughest re-election bid to date by enrolling him in their Patriot Program, essentially running any campaign and legislative decisions by them rather than leaning on his own stable of learned, paid advisors, much less the good people of CD6. But those good people seem too focused on looming school board and municipal races — or reruns of “Dating Naked” — to get their blood boiling over a possible scandal. Quid’s political memory is just lucid enough to recall Congressman Mike was on the same Patriot Program list back when he beat Andy Romanoff in 2014. Perhaps sensing that they needed a new message, Carroll & Co. on Tuesday trotted out their biggest endorsement to date: The Honorable John W. Hickenlooper, governor of this very state. But just like that elderly gray mule, the endorsement of the guv just ain’t what it used to be after winning a nail-biter over Bob Beauprez and making a lot of intra-party enemies over issues such as fracking and wishy-washy opining on legal weed. Either side will likely be able to pin the endorsement as a Hick-up in the race to end all races.

AND QUID HAS HEARD that Wednesday’s pot tax holiday may yield some funny business on City Council. Aurora’s elected hoo-haws couldn’t contain their giggles Monday night in discussing their proposed change to just how much ganja you can grow at home. That brand of goofy behavior surely is a telltale sign of a group of dope fiends — the only other explanation is that the otherwise sober-minded lawmakers were yukking it up over potentially curtailing residents’ state-given right to go green.

AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS.