Design and art by Robert Sausaman, Sentinel Colorado

On Edge

On Denver’s west side, an elderly man had been managing his solitude just fine until the pandemic hit, taking with it what social life he had and leaving in its place a loneliness he had not felt for years. Not far from his house, a young woman fights panic attacks after COVID-19 killed her grandfather and landed her in the hospital. Now, she fears the virus will come for her again and this time she will die.

In Fort Collins, the school district announces an early return to online learning, and moments later, a struggling mother calls the local mental health center: “I can’t do this again.”

On Edge is a cooperative effort between Sentinel Colorado and The Colorado News Collaborative. There are more than 15 On Edge stories in the special report. Click here to see more reporting.

In Aurora, a grocery worker dreads every day in fear of contracting the coronavirus at a job she feels she has no control over.

On the Eastern Plains is a third-generation farmer, and if the pandemic does not weigh on him heavily, this year’s record drought and the crop failure it caused do. It sets off an irritability and dread that words do not capture in the same way they cannot capture the layering of crises that marks this time: the body blows dealt by the pandemic, the shaky economy, climate-change driven fire and drought, civil rights reckoning and a polarizing election.

Coloradans are on edge. As individuals. As families. As communities. Colorado already had greater demand for behavioral health services than it could provide. And the safety net that even the state’s top mental health official says has “too many holes” might be further frayed by the tight state budget.

These crises have led to a well-documented flood of calls to crisis and referral lines, and nearly half of Coloradans recently reported experiencing anxiety or depression.

“Everyone is really struggling with the same things,” says Kristen Cochran-Ward, director of Connections, a mental health and substance abuse program at the Health District of Northern Larimer County. “I have heard people saying that we are all in the same boat. We are not all in the same boat. We are all in the same storm. And some people might be in a cruise ship and some might be on a tire raft.”

To capture the current psyche of our state, Sentinel Colorado is partnering with nearly 100 others through the Colorado News Collaborative (COLab) to document how Coloradans are coping. Our hope is that in a state where stigma around mental health struggles runs high, this reporting and the conversations that follow will prompt better understanding of widely misunderstood and hidden experiences.

If there is a silver lining to this time, it could be the realization that even if we find ourselves isolated, we are not alone.

“This has affected all of our wellbeing, all of us,” says Dr. Carl Clark, president and CEO of the Mental Health Center of Denver. “So, I think it has kind of washed away that us-them thing around mental health. I think it is making people realize: ‘Hey, it’s not us-them. It’s us.’”

— Tina Griego, Susan Greene, Colorado News Collaborative

Bernie Cardell starts his car to keep his engine warm while he is still unable to drive after having brain surgery.
Photo by PHILIP B. POSTON/Sentinel Colorado

Aurora Mental health teams fighting a relentless  ‘perfect storm’

Mental health issues were already a serious concern in Aurora before the pandemic arrived, with the Cherry Creek School District even developing a plan for a mental health day treatment facility for its students because the need was so present.

The coronavirus has only made mental health issues more pressing, and at the Aurora Mental Health Center clinicians are working to provide Aurorans the care they need under the strained circumstances caused by the pandemic.

The center provides mental health services and substance abuse treatment to around 25,000-30,000 people a year from the Aurora region. Its numbers have held steady this year despite a dip in people seeking services at the beginning of the pandemic, said CEO Dr. Kelly Phillips-Henry. The center saw some of its biggest surges in people reaching out during the spring.

At the beginning of the pandemic, the center transitioned many of its services to telehealth to decrease the number of people coming into the building, instead reaching many people over the computer or the telephone, she said.

Telehealth worked well for many clients, and Phillips-Henry said that some people preferred it. However, some clients, such as those suffering with psychosis, struggled to receive care virtually, and the center worked to provide more in-person services over the as cases dipped following the spring peak. Over the summer it was providing about 60% remote service and 40% in person, but by mid-November the ratio was closer to 80-20% as cases rose again.

Currently, most in-person services are for inpatient treatment such as substance abuse detox and people in mental health crisis.

The center has seen an increase in people struggling with depression and anxiety this year, which Phillips-Henry believes is attributable to the pandemic.

“These types of pandemics usually don’t bring out the best in us when we don’t have our natural supports around us, like friends are family,” Phillips-Henry said.

For people who are already struggling with mental illness, “a time like this will make it much more challenging.”

AMHC patient Shauna Eckart said that the pandemic has taken a toll on her ability to manage her mental health. Eckart has PTSD, depression and anxiety, and her depression and anxiety have worsened since the pandemic began. Being surrounded by people wearing masks also exacerbates her PTSD, she said, because it’s hard to identify people’s faces.

“I’ve been more on guard this whole pandemic,” she said.

The isolation caused by COVID-19 has made it harder for her to do the things that normally help her manage her symptoms, such as interacting with loved ones.

“When you have severe depression or anxiety, you don’t want to be by yourself 24/7,” she said.

The center has seen a notable uptick in substance abuse since the beginning of the pandemic.

“A lot of times folks don’t use the healthiest coping mechanisms when stress gets high and for many people they turn to drugs or alcohol,” Phillips-Henry said.

Malcolm Jobe, the director for AMHC’s substance use disorder programs, said that along with the increase in volume, he’s also seen an increase in the severity of people’s distress since the pandemic began.

“Not only are we seeing more folks in acute crisis, the intensity of their situation, the distress and the anxiety that clients are feeling has really been heightened,” he said.

It’s hard to draw a direct line to what causes people to struggle with substance abuse or mental illness, but Jobe believes that the economic fallout and lack of social interaction caused by the pandemic are both factors.

“I think that it’s a perfect storm,” Jobe said. “You throw in economic challenges, money concerns and not being able to see your loved ones. People are feeling scared and worried, that absolutely is contributing to more acuity.”

The pandemic has been challenging for clinicians as well as patients, many of whom have young children. They have had to retool how they provide treatment in the middle of handling their own childcare, and while some appreciate the flexibility that working from home brings, it can be difficult to deliver therapy from a crowded house or apartment.

“We don’t buy or rent our places that we live in to create a work environment,” Phillips-Henry said. “We have clinicians that are working from their bedrooms, that have made an office from a closet, or that are moving about the house at various times of day to find a private location that meets all the HIPPA compliance to deliver care.”

The detox program has had to cut its beds from 30 to 18 to comply with social distancing guidelines, which has meant at times having to turn people away. Some staff members have had to quarantine because of COVID-19 scares, but so far no one has contracted COVID-19.

Despite the reduced capacity, Jobe said it was a point of pride that the facility has been able to stay up and running throughout the pandemic for those who are in crisis.

“The light is still on,” he said.

— CARINA JULIG, Sentinel Colorado staff Writer

Eighty-one year old Eddie Kemm has lived in the Westwood neighborhood of Denver for more than 40 years after leaving New Mexico to study to be an auto mechanic here in Denver. Covid has derailed his hobby of shooting pool with buddies as bars were forced to close for some time. He purchased a used pool table and set it up in his backyard to continue to play. He tries to maintain a positive attitude despite these troubled times saying, “I just take it a day at a time and try to find something to laugh about”. (Photo by Marc Piscotty / © 2020)

‘Too many holes in the net’

Colorado was in poor shape to handle 2020’s confluence of crises. This year’s heightened mental health needs have run headlong into a complex, ever-shifting constellation of decades-old challenges: the state’s higher-than-average prevalence of high-risk mental health conditions; a backlog of demand caused by a thicket of red tape among state agencies and private insurers; a behavioral health workforce shortage compounded by low rates of psychiatrists and psychologists who accept public or private insurance; cultural stigma; and slow public and political recognition that mental health is as important as physical health.

For communities of color that have a history of trauma and lack of access to health care, the need has been especially acute.

The Colorado Health Institute has been surveying residents about behavioral health and access to care since 2009 and found the situation generally deteriorating ever since. Based on its data, 870,000 Coloradans were in significant distress in 2019.

Nationally, Colorado has the third highest prevalence of mental illness among adults, according to the most recent annual report by Mental Health America. That report, based on data from 2017 and 2018, also finds Colorado has the nation’s highest percentage of adults with substance abuse disorder and the third-highest percentage of adults considering suicide. Colorado’s suicide rate hit nearly 22 per 100,000 in 2018 compared to an average of 14 per 100,000 people nationally. Our national rankings for young people are not much better.

Theories about what explains Colorado’s grim statistics run the gamut from altitude to higher rates of gun ownership to a culture of Western self-reliance that downplays emotions.

“‘Pull yourself up by your bootstraps’ is probably the most misleading statement ever,” says Colorado Department of Human Services Office of Behavioral Health chief Robert Werthwein, noting the credo wrongly assumes mental health hinges solely on individual will rather than on genetics, brain chemistry, trauma and other factors.

State government is partially responsible, Werthwein says bluntly. A recent study by the Colorado Department of Human Services finds fault with a bureaucracy in which 10 different state agencies run 75 different behavioral health programs, with hundreds of funding streams, thousands of billing rules, and no shared vision for care. Seventy-five programs “means there are 74 wrong doors,” Werthwein says.

“There are too many holes in the net.”

Some of the most gaping are sparsely populated communities, many of which have disproportionately high overdose and suicide cases and high rates of stigma around mental health challenges. The need for counseling or treatment doubled or tripled in many rural counties over the past six years.

In the state study of Colorado’s behavioral health system, lack of access to care was repeatedly cited as the greatest problem. Even as COVID began its spread, the state legislature cut hoped-for expansions of pilot programs and new money for mental health and substance abuse programs targeting people living in underserved communities and youth and adults in the criminal justice system.

— Tina Griego, Susan Greene, Colorado News Collaborative

Samantha Lopez sits in a esthetician room at Transformation Spa and Salon, which she co-owns with Jennifer Colvin. The duo bought the salon in March, just before the pandemic battened down on Aurora. Photo by KARA MASON/Sentinel Colorado

The roar

The first recorded COVID death — an elderly woman in El Paso County — came on March 13. The state went under lockdown 12 days later.

People who could work from home did. Behavioral health care providers pivoted to telephone or video sessions. The number of people seeking help dipped across the state’s 17 regional behavioral health centers in what care providers describe as a calm before the storm.

By mid-April, unemployment claims had skyrocketed — a red flag among mental health experts who know job loss can lead to suicide, so-called “deaths of despair.” While the caseloads at some behavioral health centers remain below last year’s levels, the urgency of the need has deepened, providers say. Under the weight of uncertainty and isolation, “what was once acute has become very acute, and what was very acute has become a crisis,” says Carl Nassar, founder of Heart-Centered Counseling, the largest private outpatient behavioral health group in the state. Our cups were already full, he says, and now they are spilling over.

The smell of burning forests triggers an anxiety attack. A marital spat about the presidential election blows up into thoughts about divorce. A high school student descends into depression because he can’t hang out with friends. A young mom, cooped up with three little kids, crumbles.

At the pandemic’s beginning, families worried what might happen, what they might lose, says Janis Pottorff, the director of Weld County’s North Range Behavioral Health’s Family Connects program. “Now we have families who have lost things, lost livelihoods, lost relationships, maybe some have lost family — actual physical death — lost confidence that they can manage the day, they can manage the week.”

Pottorff notes that stress has spiked since the late-fall announcements of an early return to remote learning in some school districts. “We are hearing that roar in families’ emotions.”

Among those for whom the roar of mental illness predated this year’s crises, increased isolation and the sudden inability to see their trusted providers in person have made things even harder.

An August poll by the Colorado Health Foundation found one in two Coloradans reported increased psychological strain – “anxiety, loneliness, stress” – as a result of the pandemic. A more recent U.S. Census Bureau snapshot survey found that from Oct. 28 to Nov. 9, about 43 percent of Coloradans reported symptoms of anxiety or depression over the previous seven days. Meanwhile, the number of monthly calls and texts to Colorado’s crisis line has climbed from nearly 16,000 in January to nearly 25,000 in October, a more than 50% increase. Most people are calling about anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts, some seeking immediate help, and others wanting information on providers or coping strategies.

“It’s called the Colorado Crisis hotline, but you define the crisis for yourself,” Werthwein says. “…I don’t want people not to call and say, ‘Well this doesn’t feel like a crisis,’ or ‘Other people are going through harder things …’ No, call. It helps all of us the sooner

that you call.”

But getting longer-term help can be tricky. It generally requires reams of paperwork and long waits for public providers or a string of calls to private providers who often don’t take insurance, are prohibitively expensive or not accepting new patients.

Pat Turner, a contractor in Meeker, sat on his porch twisting wires in his hands and drinking most of June and July as he sank into severe depression. He began disassociating from reality. His search for help drew him into a labyrinth of hold times, packed waiting rooms, 200-mile round trips to the regional behavioral health center in Grand Junction, and a doctor failing to follow up after writing an antipsychotic prescription. His family found a private psychiatrist 90 miles away in Steamboat Springs who is helping treat Turner’s newly diagnosed bipolar disorder.

“We have a real problem if the system doesn’t treat a cry for help as an emergency,”  Turner says. “My mania got so intense that if my family hadn’t been there to help, I’d probably still be out there in the abyss, potentially committing suicide or homicide or something.”

For every person known to be in crisis, experts say there are more who are not known: Coloradans without a support system, people experiencing cognitive or traumatic impacts from COVID, students in remote learning whose suffering is unnoticed by teachers and school counselors. Care providers are especially worried about people who have hunkered down, convinced they can just muscle through in silence.

— Tina Griego, Susan Greene, Colorado News Collaborative

Betty Torres, 38, of Denver walks at Garfield Lake Park in Denver one afternoon. Torres was diagnosed and hospitalized with Covid-19 back in March and has mostly recovered but lost her grandfather to the virus and had it work its way through her entire family. Torres lives in the Westwood neighborhood and was scared to leave the house for a while after struggling to overcome Covid for fear of being exposed again. (Photo by Marc Piscotty / © 2020)

Time to talk

A few months into the pandemic, the Mental Health Center of Denver began using the video game Minecraft to help some of the young people it serves. Two clinicians each lead eight children as they mine materials and build worlds. The game feeds their need to connect to other kids, to play and to create environments over which they have some power.

MHCD also expanded its telehealth appointments from about five a week to 4,000 a week, a remarkable pandemic-spurred shift among all behavioral health providers in the state. Lawmakers allocated about $13 million in federal CARES Act funding for COVID-related behavioral health needs for smart devices, telehealth needs and other resources, such as PPE for therapists to meet high-need clients in person safely. Another $2 million federal grant has been helping Coloradans who have tested positive for COVID receive behavioral health care.

Meanwhile, apps are allowing lonely singles to meet for coffee or cocktails online and for virtual meditation groups among strangers. Social media, often divisive, also has become a place for callouts to check on one another and for admissions that things aren’t going well. “I need something to look forward to,” a man in Broomfield wrote on a recent Facebook post that elicited dozens of emoji faces hugging hearts.

Yet despite innovative ways to connect, we are still hurting. As COVID tightens its grip, infecting record numbers of Coloradans, many of us have again retreated to our homes beset by compassion fatigue and Zoom fatigue and plain old fatigue fatigue. The divisive presidential election has given way to a divisive aftermath. We are girding for a holiday season defined by remaining apart rather than coming together. And, as increased joblessness and evictions loom, a long winter awaits.

On the horizon are two glimmers of light: The promises of widely distributed COVID vaccines next year and of behavioral health reform in Colorado.

To tackle fragmentation, the state has been developing an online behavioral health registry — the first phase of which is expected to go live this April — with daily updates on available mental health and substance abuse disorder treatment. The Polis administration also has created a blueprint for ensuring people who need help are treated like people and not boxes checked for reimbursement.

But at a time when state revenues are stretched, how much can be done and how quickly are open questions. The fractures in Colorado’s behavioral health systems have been decades in the making and will not be mended overnight.

“None of us know when we’re going to experience a mental health crisis, and when we do, many of us don’t know how few and poor the resources are to weather it, even in the best of times,” says Vincent Atchity, president and CEO of Mental Health Colorado, the leading nonprofit pushing for state policy reform. “You can’t feel good about a community that fails to provide life sustaining support for people with serious mental health needs.”

This moment, he and other advocates say, presents not a hypothetical test of Colorado’s mental health policies, but an active emergency. Now, they say, is the time to get comfortable with uncomfortable conversations — lots of them. Now is the time to speak more deeply with each other without shame and to listen without judgement, to ask for and offer help: Are you eating? Are you sleeping? What do you need? What can I do? 

“Do we show who we are by finding each other’s humanity and finding solidarity or do we tear each other apart?” Atchity asks. Support networks are critical, he says. “Be sort of gardener-like about maintaining those relationships. Best to keep calling so-and-so when you’re not in crisis, so when you are, they’ll be there.”

At least for now, still in the thick of it, our surest safety nets may be each other.




— Tina Griego, Susan Greene, Colorado News Collaborative

If you’re struggling, help is available on Colorado’s crisis hotline. Call  1-844-493-TALK(8255). In Aurora, you can call 303-617-2300 and begin a connection with Aurora Mental Health for emergency and scheduled services.