QUID HA OIDO that Congressman Mike ‘Amigo’ Coffman is stepping up his push to reach out to Aurora types who no hablan Ingles. The once-way-right-turned-way-slightly-kinda-lefter Aurora legislator is not only learning to habla Español, he’s gonna write it now, too. Coffman launched a Spanish-only Twitter account on El Dia de La Independencia, telling his first subscriber — that would have been the Aurora Sentinel — Happy 4th of July. In Sentinel Spanish, that would be “¡Chelo!” Of the 13 followers El Jefe was boasting at press time Wednesday, the only Latino sounding last names were attached to reporter types, and no further instructions en Español had been broadcast. Your mono-lingual hack is que impressed with talking the talk with Aurora immigrant types or those who use the language to enjoy what every soap opera should be. Claro, it was inevitablé that with the onset of the smash hit, “Despacito” that everyone would now be embracing what was once shunned. ¡Apretados pero contentos¡ So why stop at Spanish, and why just El Señor Coffman? Quid collegially suggests that Coffman start Tweeting in Korean and Vietnamese, two profoundly large segments of Colorado’s giant melting pot who rarely get singled out these days. More than anything, your lowly hack suggests that giving the Twitterverse the bird in multiple languages is an excellent idea. How hard can this be? If El Presidente Triunfo can Tweet in Garblish his earnest appreciation for all that is culturally Mexican in the U.S. — like the world’s best taco bowl in a Trump cafeteria — and how good The Wall would be for some of his best friends who know Mexicans, then Trump’s best friends here in Colorado can yump on the tren, too. Quid is anxious to hear what Colorado Springs Congressman Doug Lamborn might Tweet off to his amigo voters. “Hola, mi frendos, you are benevenidos here if tu gotta birth certificate. If not, buenos aires et arf veeder zane.” And Gov. Jickenluper can easily join in the fun, telling our Spanish-speaking neighbors what they’re missing in English. Things like, “Not my fault,” and “Frack, baby, frack” are just as meaningful in Spanish as they aren’t in English. And yours truly is sure that the city’s Spanish speakers will feel just as safe as do the only-in-English residents do when they get information from the city’s police department. Missives such as, “A bad thing happened today in Aurora,” and “Another bad thing happened today in Aurora,” will let those who can’t ever make sense of what police officials say find good company in new miserable company. And as we all know, when any and all of these lideres talk, gusta no igual aprobación.
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